sunday routine

Sundays are usually for timeouts for me. I have gotten through another week, and I just want a day to sit back and relax. It's also a good day to catch up on your favourite TV shows. Right now, I have just finished season 3 of Fuller House and I hate how they ended it on a cliffhanger. If you watch it, please let me know if you know when season 4 is up!

In the morning, I tend to sleep in but not too late. This is a habit of mine, but I tend to set my alarm an earlier so I am able to just lay in bed and do nothing. Sounds lazy, but I do get up around 9 or even half 9.

Although I can't eat breakfast first thing in the morning, I don't exactly eat that much of a breakfast. Usually I will have a slice of toast, or even some yogurt and granola. I do agree that eating breakfast does help you for a busy day. I should know as I always forget to eat in the morning and even before 12, I start feeling sick and well, I now know I should eat first thing.

Wow, I really just rambled on about eating breakfast.

Once I have had breakfast, I will usually have a shower or a bath, it depends if I decided to have one the night before. I don't really stay in my pjs as I do like to be productive at times (believe it or not).

At the moment, I do volunteer on Sundays and I enjoy it. Since I don't work on Sundays, I find that I like to keep myself busy. So in the morning, I get myself ready and make sure the house is tidy before leaving.

This is my favourite part.

I love walking up to the high street as it not only gives me fresh air but I like walking through the park and occasionally take pictures of the lake.

The place in which I volunteer at is Marie Curie. If you don't know what Marie Curie does, it is a charity where they support those with terminal illnesses. I've been volunteering there for a few months now, and the people there are lovely and make you feel welcome when you walk in.

I do that for a few hours and then afterwards, I like to stroll back through the high street and glance in the shop windows. Since it's nearing Christmas now, it gives me ideas on what gifts to get others.

As you can see, my Sunday's are productive but also relaxing later in the day. From volunteering, walking in the park and then heading home where I might run a hot bath and then watch Netflix.

Which reminds me, I've just started watching The Vampire Diaries. At the moment, I am on season 2 and I am having a war with myself between Stefan and Damon. Although I am only on season 2 so you never know, things could change.

What do you do on your Sundays? Do you prefer a productive day, or do you prefer to be at home and relax before the week starts up again?

I hope you enjoyed this blog post, and if you would like to write about anything specific in these, please do comment and let me know as I am always looking for suggestions.

Happy Sunday!

Until next time,
Emma X

FAVOURITE BOOKS (SO FAR!)

Hiya guys, I have been gone for a while but I am back now. I hope you are all doing well, and doing what you love everyday.

As you may know, I have a love for books – although some may call it an addiction. So I figured I would do a post on my favourite books, and give you ideas on what to read if you're looking for new.. books to read?

Grab your coffee (or tea) and we shall get started!

1)Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.

You may have heard of this book, or you probably haven't and that's okay. Fangirl is one of my favourites – and also first – because it's basically a girl who is an introvert. She has an older sister who she attaches herself to until they head to college. I feel like I can relate to Cath because she surrounds herself with fanfictions in college unlike her twin sister, Wren, who wants to socialise and meet people.

There is a boy involved, but I like to think it's more revolved around Cath and her sister getting over their mothers death. Levi is older, and more experienced while Cath is not. I know some people don't like when the main character is shy or there's too many books on them but I don't think there's enough books on introverts. So you should defo give Fangirl a try!

2. Fantastic Beasts (and where to find them) by J. K. Rowling.

I LOVE this book. I am one who needs to read the book before I watch the film. And I am so glad that I did. The book is in a script style, and I personally like those, since I used to write scripts when I was little so I was happy to read it.

It was really interesting because as you are reading, you can totally imagine each scene playing in your head. LOVED Newt's character, and I loved how cute + awkward he became around other people. I like how he cares for the creatures. So again, I would SO recommend this book if you haven't already read it.

3. The Potion Diaries by Amy Alward. 

If you like magic and potions mixed with everyday life, then you'll most likely love this book. Zoe actually featured this book in her favourites video, and I thought I would give it a go and now I'm here featuring it in my favourites!

It's filled with adventure, friendship and it involves the royals who need help with the princess who created a potion to make someone fall in love with her. Only the princess accidentally drank the potion herself, and now it's a race against time to make the correct potion to break the spell.

I only have three favourites since I haven't been reading as much. Although, I am currently reading Anne of Green Gables. If you haven't seen the series, I SO recommend watching it as it's on Netflix UK. I'm not sure if it's on the US Netflix.

I hope you're having a lovely day, and doing something you love.

Until next time,

Em x

let’s talk about mental health

It’s a sour topic, it’s the truth. Many people, for some reason, turn away at even the slightest mention of mental health. I don’t know why, but something needs to be done. That’s why it’s World Mental Health Day.

Did you know that 6 in 10 people say poor mental health impacts their concentration at work?

You may also know how 70 million work days are lost each year in the UK because of poor mental health.

I didn’t know this, but £105 billion is lost each year to the UK economy because of poor mental health.

From suffering with anxiety and depression myself, I have come to realise just how much each of us needs someone. Someone to talk to, because it is not good to keep everything bottled up inside.

For some odd reason, society acts as if it’s some BIG issue to talk about your mental illness. It isn’t, we should be able to talk about mental health in a way that makes us feel more free and confident within ourselves.

Nobody should ever make you feel silly or even guilty for being who you are. You may have a mental illness, but you are also kind, loving and you are going to go on and do great things in life.

I love that we have Mental Health Awareness Day, or even Month. It’s just.. mental health should not just be spoken about in that time, it is something that needs to be spoken about more all year round.

I rarely talk about my anxiety, I admit it. I don’t talk about it to my family or friends, I mean.. they know about it but they don’t push me to talking about it if I don’t want to. I prefer talking to people online. That sounded weird, let me explain. I prefer helping others online who suffer from anxiety or any other mental illness because they kind of know what I feel.

I like to pretend I don’t have anxiety.. or depression, and I will just go about my normal routine. I can’t pretend though.. because they are still there, sitting in the back of my mind where I left them first thing in the morning. Like they are waiting to be welcomed by me again.

It’s a very frustrating thing.

But with the help of you, we can offer more support to those who are suffering with a mental illness.

Remember to hug your friends, always ask how someone is feeling and if they are okay. Trust me, such a tiny gesture will never go unnoticed.

If you are interested in learning more about Mental Health and would be willing to help, please check out MQ Mental Health. I recently joined them in order to raise awareness and help anyone who is in need of a friend. I will put the link to their page at the bottom of this page.

I really hope this has helped you understand a little about the topic, and please check out the website as well as keep raising awareness about mental health.

This is me logging off.

Goodnight – Emma.

https://www.mqmentalhealth.org/

 

 

the sad part

The sad part is when you haven’t seen your best friend in months, and today you walk past her and it just feels different.

Good afternoon, well its heading into the evening now but I wanted to get this off my chest. I was with some new friends today, and I was walking with Bridget towards the bus station and I saw my best friend.

Wait, lets go back a few. If you’ve read the blog post on why I haven’t had my first kiss, then you’ll also know about the best friend who would jump from one relationship to the next. Do you still don’t know? I suggest you go back and read the post!

Anyway, I was chatting with Bridget about some stuff and as we were, we happened to walk past my best friend and like a good friend, I smiled at her. Although, she was mumbling something to this girl who she was with and then quickly said hi before walking away.

I don’t know if I am overreacting, but when you have been friends with someone for such a long time, going way back to primary school, you tend to think it over and wonder if you have done something.

This also got me thinking about friends you meet when you are at school. I remember thinking how my best friend and I would stay being friends and never stop. I even have people tell me about how lucky I am to have a long lasting friendship like it.. but we haven’t seen each other in months, maybe since the beginning of the year.

Wanting to be a good friend still, I will occasionally text her asking how she is and is everything is going well. I will suggest, every time, how we need to meet up soon and even say a day. I hate how I am always the one to ask how she is doing, always the first to message her about hanging out.

And I don’t get it. Her excuse is always about not getting paid until a specific day and how she’ll get back to me but a day later, I see her snapchat story and she’s at the pub with a friend or something like that. That’s kind of why I have decided to take a step back from our friendship.

That may seem selfish or rude, but I want to do it. There are so many things I want to do, like move out and find an apartment. My dream is to move to Brighton one day, not today or tomorrow, but one day. I feel like waiting for my best friend to reply back to me is stopping me from meeting new people. She’s literally who I have hung out with since school.

The sad part is that you outgrow people, your friends. You shouldn’t try to fix it or repair it. You should accept it and move on.

The sad part is that I always read these quotes about how best friends becoming strangers, and I never thought that quote would be about soon be us.

But the best part is that you take this chance to expand, expand and expand.

I really hope you took something away from this. If you’re going through something with a friend, maybe you feel like it’s only you putting in the effort, I hope you work it out and soon move on with or without them.

Remove yourself from those one sided friendships where you are the only one putting in the effort. 

Have a good day.

 

-Emma X

 

10 things you don’t know about me!

Good evening, guys! I am so sorry that I haven’t posted something in a while. From going through something personal, I just didn’t feel like writing.

ANYWAY, I have decided to do a blog post tonight. So, you can most likely see by the title of this post, and yes you’re about to find out 10 things you don’t know about me, yay!

1. i spent two years at college where i studied animal care (and tended to the animals!)

2. i hated the taste of coffee when i was a teenager, but i started drinking it late last year and now I’m obsessed with it. I can’t go a day without it!

3. okay at the beginning of this year, i got into this tv series called The Durrell’s and I love it. It’s something nice to watch with a cup of tea (or coffee, if you don’t like tea!) and your feet up.

4. I am 5’1. There I said it!

5. i love cats (& dogs) sorry I can’t choose between the two!

6. I have a thing for quotes, like someone else can put in words what I am feeling better than I possibly could.

7. at first meeting, i will not say anything. okay that sounds rude, no i will greet you but i’m a shy and i will be shy for a while so go easy on me!!

8. i like sitting in coffee shops and write in my notepad ( Zoella to be exact (; )

9. interesting fact here, but my foot was feeling a little itchy right now. ooh, we’re getting deep! 

10. oh, and i’m a Sagittarius!

I hope you found these interesting, at least one or two. Come on, make a girl smile.

OKAY, I won’t make you read anymore. However, I am starting on my next blog post as I don’t want it to be a month until I write again.

Good night! 

Emma X 

 

a snippet of my book

This is a small sneak peek of a book that I am currently writing at the moment. If you read, please do give feedback and tell me what you think. I always value what people think of my work. 

// window thoughts //

It’s been six hours since Evelyn has arrived in Paris, and checked into the hotel. Alexis had recommended a hotel for her, stating that it was the best one she had been to out of all the trips. Evelyn, trusting her best friend, decided to stay at Hotel Eiffel Seine.

Holding the steaming cup of tea, Evelyn made her way across the room towards the chair sitting by the window. Sitting down it, she pulls a fluffy blanket over herself as she gets herself comfortable. Phone being abandoned for the summer, she’s had to resort to communicating with her friends back home via email and Skype.

As Evelyn doesn’t want her phone bill going too over the top, she just decided to not use it, hence why it’s back home in a drawer turned off. Sure, it is going to feel weird not having her phone but she also does not want to return home to a huge bill to pay off.

Sipping on her tea, she stares out the window down at Paris and smiles to herself. If being honest, Evelyn never thought she would be here today. With certain events happening, and being a Nurse, she just never imagined she would ever make it to Paris. Evelyn looks to her side, taking gentle hold of the old diary.

It was her Grandmother who had given her the idea of coming to Paris ever since she was a little girl. Her Grandmother was named Diamond, as her mother had a love diamonds and she wanted to call her daughter something she dearly loved. Unfortunately, Diamond passed away eight months ago. She was not in pain, there was no illness. It was old age, and her body just gave up.

Evelyn stared down at the diary that her grandmother had left her. Every night when she would visit her, Diamond would always have this same old diary sitting by her side. She would not let anyone read it, let alone touch it. It was not until Evelyn had found the old thing wrapped up and laying in her mail box and has not opened it until now.

She opens the first page, instantly smiling when she sees train tickets, plane tickets and even cinema tickets taped to the first two pages. Eve’s eyes scanned the tickets, recognizing the different places her grandmother had been to. Poland, Germany, India, Costa Rica and even the place she is currently in herself; Paris.

There were too many places that her grandmother had been to. Flicking to the next page, her fingers slide over an old photo of a couple. It’s glued to the page. Evelyn immediately knew who was standing by her grandmother. It was her grandfather who she never got to meet, because unfortunately he passed away when she was just three months ago. She begins to read the first entry in the diary.

Bon Jour,

Right now, I am sitting in a cafe while staring out at a beautiful garden in Paris. Up ahead, I just about spy the famous Eiffel Tower and it looks oh so amazing in person.

Being here, in Paris, at the age of 18 was definitely not something I saw myself doing. But now that I am here, I can’t possibly imagine ever leaving this place.

I am writing in this diary because I want something to read back on when I am old and can no longer get out. Maybe this is being read by someone new, possibly my daughter or my daughters children!  Wow, that would be great, wouldn’t it? Just thinking about that is making me happy.

Oh, I can see Jill approaching me so I guess this is goodbye for now.

Written by the one & only, 
Dia

Evelyn grinned in the darkness, closing the diary as she thought about her grandmother. She thought about how her grandparents met, and if it was love at first sight for them. No, she definitely did not believe in love at first sight, but she does believe in the look.

It’s that look where you make eye contact with someone and you just know. You know that they are going to end up being someone important to you.

Evelyn sighed, leaning her head against the cushion and gazing out the window.  The diary is disregarded to the side as she now lets her thoughts take over. Cars go past below on the road, lighting up the streets. The top of the Eiffel Tower could be seen from over the over buildings.

She looked even further below, leaning forward in her seat. Down on the footpath, there were people either tiredly walking home from work or tourists taking pictures. A couple caught her eye as they walked hand in hand while admiring the scenery around. They both had wide smiles on their faces.

Eve smiles sadly, thinking of the dates that she had been on before she came here. None of them worked out. They either wanted sex, were seeing someone else or they were not- well, what she expected to see.

While staring out at the night sky, she started wondering if there was even someone out there meant truly for her.

 

i’m 20 and never kissed anyone

I was not sure whether to write about this topic, as I always feel very embarrassed about it. When people ask me about it and they hear my answer, they act all surprised and I stand there all awkward thinking to myself "ain't a big deal umm."

Yes, I have never kissed anyone. When I was in high school, I never thought of my first kiss to be a big deal. I pretty much just wanted to get through each year with no trouble. My best friend always had a boyfriend, I swear she was never single throughout our school years.

(I love you bestie!)

There were boys in which I liked but nothing happened. They were always the "populars" in my school. We never had cliche groups like you see on the TV shows. Sure, you had people who stood out more than others but nothing like on the television.

I liked being low-key. I admit it, I never like being centre of attention and having everyone's eyes on you. That is not my thing and will never be my thing.

Back onto my original topic though!

I get nervous when around guys. I get all shy, and I do not speak to them unless they make the first move. This may be because of my dyspraxia, as seen in one of my blog posts, as I get anxious as to how people will react when they first hear me speak.

I choose not to talk sometimes, even when around family. I find it easier, not having to repeat myself all the time which can get annoying if I may admit. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't talk to them because I choose to.. I just find it hard sometimes to say the right things.

When I am around guys, I . Most of it has to do with my dyspraxia. I get self cautious on how they will react, or what they might think. I am now beginning to think it's just me though, as most of the guys I have spoken to, they are nice and I find myself getting comfortable around them. So maybe it's just me overthinking the situation, who knows. (I realised I have said the same thing twice, but I'm keeping it in.)

In regards to not having my first kiss yet, I have come to realise that I am fine with it. People have their 'firsts' at all kinds of ages, and if my first kiss is with a total stranger in a bar or someone who I'll fall in love with then that's fine by me.

Right now, I am working on myself and learning new things by myself. It's okay to be by yourself, you can step away from life for a short while and just be by yourself, reflect on how far you have come.

I haven't posted in a while, but I hope you enjoyed this weeks blog post. If you want to leave a comment or you have a question, please do!

And I hope you have a lovely night, or day wherever you are in this world.

This is me tuning out,

emma X

apologies and redecorating

First off, I am terribly sorry for not being around since my last blog post. Since I got back from holiday, I have been busy with a few things. I want to start posting again, but I want to make a specific day in which I will so I don't fall behind.

In the meantime, I will tell you that I have been redecorating my room. I love being in a space that will inspire me and I feel like that is important as I want to be a writer and feeling inspired is what I need.

Mind the mess.

Yes, I am painting my room yellow. I am starting to LOVE the colour as it feels happy and will immediately lighten me up if I feel down.

You're probably wondering why my entire wardrobe is spilled out on my bed. I am actually sorting through my room, and taking various items to charity shops. From donating clothes, I've formed different piles.

1. I know I will never wear that again.

2. I will most definitely wear that again, I love it.

3. I say I will wear this but I also know that I will not therefore I should donate it.

I'm kind of branching out a little bit more. I am wearing clothes I usually would never have worn a year ago, so I am having a clear out of my wardrobe and donating those I don't wear anymore.

This is only going to be a short blog post, as I just wanted to say what I had been doing and why I hadn't posted in a while.

I hope you had a lovely day today, and I'll make sure to post this weekend.

Until next time,

Emma X

quiet holiday

The place in the picture is at Walton on Naze. It is such a nice quiet area, with a big enough beach and you were able to go far in the water and it would still only reach your knees. Lovely cafes, and we walked along the pier where I watched a man successfully catch a fish.

The water looks dirty there, but I swear it isn't. It felt nice just walking about in the sea, plus I found some cool looking shells and I had to keep them, didn't I?

Later on, the tide soon came all the way in meaning we had to leave the beach. What I love about Walton On Naze is that nobody is rushing. They take their time, and I like that.

My younger brother likes to buy each of the characters who we see at the caravan parks. He has one more back home, but didn't bring that one.

This moment was on the room in the room I was staying in. That day was also the day I had a panic attack so I started writing down in this notebook about ways I could overcome it if it ever happened again. The paper is blank, but I swear I filled it up!

I skipped a few days only because I don't want to talk about them. This morning, I had a veggie bap which is vegetarian sausages in a roll. You most likely already knew that. I had to have it again before we left because it's SO nice. With it, I had green tea which I love having now. I never had it before, but I am definitely going to start having it once I get home.

I did leave out a few details from this morning, as the atmosphere was not satisfying. Plus, I wouldn't want to include it in this. Positive vibes, not negative!

Until next time,

• Em •

I hate it

I may have done something like this before in a blog post, but I wanted to write purely about anxiety. Many of you may struggle with this, and it is a subject some may also ignore (unfortunately.)

For me, anxiety usually occurs when I am in a busy place or room, or even at a family gathering. You may think "family gathering, what?" but it's also linked to a busy room. Socialising with family is fine, but after a while it gets too much for me. I get hot and bothered, and I feel like the room is closing in on me.

When this happens, in any situation I will just go in a separate room and scroll through my phone. I may even text my friend while I calm down as it helps. Although we do have a family dog, and if she's happy to cuddle then you'll see me laying with the dog.

I may not have a quiet room to go to if I am in public though. That's the difficult bit, but there is always a coffee shop that I always feel the most comfortable in. Sitting in a coffee shop somehow relaxes me.

While sipping on coffee, my regular order always a latte, I might scroll through my phone or take out my journal and write in that.

You might not do this, but it definitely helps me and I hope somehow it helps you if you ever find yourself in an overwhelming situation.

Right now, I am writing this blog post in a showbar and I am feeling overwhelmed. Writing this is helping me because it's giving me something to focus on.

It feels like something is sitting on my chest and I feel trapped. I don't want to say anything though because it's supposed to be a family weekend thing and I don't want to spoil it. I just don't like major attention on me.

Fast forward an hour later. I got to my room and had a panic attack. I've never really had one before so it scared me. I couldn't breathe, I was gasping for air and I was just crying uncontrollably.

I was not planning to write this blog post tonight, but I felt like I had to. It helped me from breaking down in that show bar.

If you have ever gone through any of this, please let me know in the comments on how you cope with anxiety or a panic attack.

Sweet Dreams.

Until next time,

Em x